Thought Unforgivable
by Closely
Summary: Kenshin breaks his promise to never kill again. O.o Will the others be able to forgive him? What about himself? Can Kenshin forgive himself for his wrong doing? -- COMPLETE: ALL SEVEN CHAPTERS ARE OUT! Expect revising.
1. Sleep

Thought Unforgivable  
  
By: Devilspet  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Rurouni Kenshin or it's characters.  
  
A/N: Thanks to ImagineThat for the help and I hope that it gets read but that title was already used to I had to pick a different one- I don't like using already used titles if I can help it. But, anyway, ImagineThat, thanks for a lot of other things that I haven't mentioned in any other stories but helped with. And other thanks Kathryn and Rurouni Yasha. Okay, with that outta the way . . . as always- read, enjoy (hopefully), and review please!  
  
Devilspet: Hey everyone, it's just boring old me with a new story-  
  
Kureno: Ahem. Aren't you forgetting someone?  
  
Devilspet: *thinks hard*. . . uh. . . no. I don't think so, who?  
  
Kureno: *sigh* Oh, I don't know, he's only taking to you right now!  
  
Devilspet: *gasp* Oh, sorry! Okay, let me start, Hey everyone, it's just boring old me AND Kureno here with a new story. . . remember to review please. . . here we go.  
  
Chapter 1: Sleep  
  
~*~  
  
A scream echoed through the night but no one seemed to hear. Everyone was fast asleep, well, almost everyone. A person lurked in the shadows of the Kamiya Kasshin dojo, where almost everyone slept. Those who slept included Sanosuke, Yahiko, and Kenshin for the time being.  
  
The shadow crept right up beside Kenshin, still unseen and unheard. The shadowy figured gently grabbed Kenshin's Sakabatou (reverse blade sword) and slinked silently along the wall and out of room.  
  
The moon shown brightly outside of the dojo. The figure emerged from the room and walked out into the moonlit night. The moon cast it's light on the shadowy figure only to show Sohjiro, a young boy working for Shishio himself- Kenshin's enemy.  
  
He crept out of the Kamiya dojo and picked up his prisoner, who was out cold. The prisoner was none other than Kaoru. Sohjiro shuffled noiselessly down the path; he needed to get back to Shishio as quickly as possible.  
  
~*~  
  
Morning came and Kenshin woke up, panicking. "OH NO!! WHERE'D IT GO?? I SWEAR IT WAS RIGHT HERE LAST NIGHT!!" He ran out of the room to find Kaoru thinking that she may know where it went.  
  
Fifteen minutes passed and he searched the whole dojo for Kaoru and his sword. They were nowhere to be found. Kenshin was beginning to worry.  
  
"Sano? Have you seen Miss Kaoru this morning?" he asked when he bumped into Sanosuke. Sanosuke shook his head. "Why? What's wrong?" he asked. "My sword AND Miss Kaoru are missing. I can't find them anywhere!" Kenshin said frantically. "I'll look for her in town for her." Sanosuke declared and ran back the way he came.  
  
Kenshin still searched the dojo and about fifteen minutes later he found a hidden note addressed to Kenshin himself- well, the note said Battousai but it was still to him. Kenshin hurriedly opened the note. It read:  
  
'Battousai,  
  
Come get her. . . we have her and your sword. . . come get them. . . alone. . . you know where. . .  
  
Shishio'  
  
Kenshin fumed in hate. 'What did she ever do to them? I knew this would happen! Why her? Why did it have to be her?!' Kenshin sighed angrily, crushed the paper into a ball, dropped it, and walked out of the room. He found Yahiko and told him he would be gone for a while and to watch over the dojo. With that, he walked out of the Kamiya dojo and went to find where Shishio was.  
  
~*~  
  
Sanosuke came back about a half an hour later with no trace found of Kaoru anywhere. Yahiko told Sanosuke that Kenshin had left for somewhere. Sanosuke cursed under his breath. "Why didn't you stop him??" he asked in an annoyed tone. "You were supposed to! Do you even know why he left?" Yahiko nodded confidently. "Yeah, he went to do some errands." Sanosuke sighed. "And you believed him?" he asked dully. Yahiko nodded, a puzzled look on his face. Sanosuke sighed, frustrated. He turned around and stormed out of the dojo, calling to Yahiko that he would be back soon.  
  
~*~  
  
Kenshin walked down the path with a determined pace in his step. He was beginning to become hungry but ignored it for Kaoru's sake. He was afraid of what Shishio may do to her or has already done. She could be hurt and none of this was her fault; it was all because of him- the Hitokiri Battousai- Shishio's real enemy.  
  
~*~  
  
Sanosuke ran down the path at maximum speed. He'd already been running for an hour and there was no sign or Kenshin. Sanosuke was breathing heavily and was losing speed in his long strides, he had already ran all over town looking for Kaoru and now all this was making him tired and sore. His legs were beginning to lead and it was getting harder and harder for him to move on. He felt his eyelids droop tiredly even though it was only three hours passed noon.  
  
Sanosuke finally stopped and collapsed against a tree trunk to rest. He didn't realize it but his eyes drooped closed and he eventually drifted off into an unnoticed deep slumber.  
  
~*~  
  
Yahiko was beginning to worry about Kaoru, Kenshin, and Sanosuke but he didn't leave just in case they came back while he was gone. He paced silently around the room. Dr. Genzai, Ayame, Suzume, and Megumi were all there. They had stopped by earlier to see Kenshin and the others but found they weren't here so they decided to stay and wait for their arrival. The four guests watched Yahiko pace with puzzled looks on their faces. Yahiko ignored all comments and glances directed to him, he just kept pacing back and forth. He paused every once and a while to look out the window for any sign of them but there was none.  
  
He stopped again to look out the window; it was becoming nightfall fast and Sanosuke, Kenshin, or Kaoru had shown up yet. Yahiko sighed and aced once again. Ayame and Suzume giggled. They thought he was acting like a father to them and found it strange seeing that Yahiko is younger than all of them.  
  
~*~  
  
Kenshin was becoming extremely hungry but still ignored it. "There is no time to waste," he chanted mentally every time he almost considered stopping for food and water.  
  
Kenshin saw a town come into view from the horizon. He knew it would be best to stop for the night even though he REALLY didn't want to. He knew that if he went on without stopping to eat, drink, and sleep he would end up collapsing somewhere in the forest during the night. Kenshin sighed and walked up to a young woman walking along the path. "Miss! Miss?" he called and ran to catch up to her when she stopped and looked back. Kenshin caught up to the woman, took a deep breath, and spoke, "Hello, would there happen to be anywhere to stay around here?" The woman smiled and scanned Kenshin up and down. She nodded. "Yes, I have an extra room if you would like to stay there, uh. . . um. . . I never got your name." She said.  
  
~*~  
  
Devilspet: Hey everyone! That's it for now. . . I'll have another chapter out soon!  
  
Kureno: Uh, you forgot something again. . .  
  
Devilspet: What this time?  
  
Kureno: *sigh* Never mind. . . please review! 


	2. Where am I?

Thought unforgivable

By: Devilspet

Disclaimer: I don't own Rurouni Kenshin or their characters . . . I only own Mokoto Hikatone.

Devilspet: Hello! I'm back with another chapter! I didn't g-

Kureno: Come on people, we only got a few reviews last chapter. . . review please!

Devilspet: *glares* I was going to say that. . .

Kureno: Well, you took too long. . .

Devilspet: *sighs* What ever. . . on with the chapter . . .

Chapter 2: Where am I?

~*~

Kenshin smiled. "It's Kenshin and it'll only be for the night." The young woman smiled again. "Okay. Kenshin then, Hello, I'm Mokoto Hikatone." Mokoto said, set down the bag she was holding, and held out a hand for Kenshin to shake. Kenshin accepted her hand. "It's nice meeting you, Miss Mokoto." Kenshin said politely. Mokoto picked up the bag again and started walking away, then turned and beckoned for Kenshin to follow. He did so and offered to carry the bag Mokoto was holding. Mokoto gladly accepted and handed Kenshin the bag. She led him down the street toward her home. They walked to her house and Kenshin thanked her for the kindness she was showing to a wandering stranger. 

Mokoto seemed to live on her own Kenshin noticed. The house was sized for a family of four yet she was the only one here. "You live on your own, Miss Mokoto?" he asked as he helped her prepare dinner. Mokoto laughed slightly. "Yes, I suppose you noticed that I am on my own." Kenshin stayed silent for that point on. 

Kenshin and Mokoto finished preparing dinner and sat down to eat. Most of the meal was silent but as they finished Mokoto decided to ask a few questions. "So, what brings you out here so late, Kenshin?" she asked curiously. "I can't tell you much, that I can't. Too many people have been hurt because of me and I'm out here because I fear that another one may be also," Kenshin said. "This one, a very important person." He added quietly, not wanting her to hear but more for his own support. Mokoto smiled when she heard that. 'Ah, so he's got someone special, huh? Whoever it is, she's very lucky to have him. There's not many men like Kenshin are around these days.' She decided not to ask any more questions because she suspected she wouldn't get any more answers. She stayed silent.

Kenshin told Mokoto that he was going out for a while and left. He swore that he was being followed a while back and he had a feeling that it was someone who he knew. Yahiko, he knew, would listen to what he said, but there was no telling what Sanosuke would do. 

He walked for about forty-five minutes then he saw a shadow against a tree. He walked closer and realized it was Sanosuke. He was sleeping. Kenshin smiled and hoisted Sanosuke to his feet and tried to wake him but he didn't even stir. Kenshin realized he must have run all around town and then ran after him. He shook his head and tried his best to get Sanosuke back to Miss Mokoto's house.

After an hour and a half, he succeeded. He stumbled through the door of her house and almost collapsed under Sanosuke's weight. Mokoto saw this and hurried forward to help him. They got him to a bed and Kenshin fell to the floor to rest. 

"Okay, now can I have some information?" Mokoto asked. Kenshin looked up at her and sighed then nodded. "Okay, who is he?" Mokoto asked

"He is my friend." 

"How did you find him?"

"He was following me."

"Can I have a name?" 

"Yes, Sanosuke Sagara. Anything else?"

"Yes, how exactly did he get like this? What happened?"

"He collapsed against a tree trunk; he was running after me all day."

"Oh." 

"So, can he stay here?"

"Sure." 

"Can he stay here while I'm gone and then Kaoru and I come back and get him?"

"Yes. Who's Kaoru?"

Kenshin blushed. "Someone."

Mokoto smiled and left the room followed by Kenshin

~*~

Kaoru stirred out of her unconscious sleep. She tried to open her eyes but found she was too weak. Kaoru sighed. 'This is great!' she thought sarcastically. 'What happened?'

_Kaoru stood outside of her dojo looking up at the stars. The wind blew softly around her and Kaoru sighed happily. Suddenly, she felt as if someone was behind her. She turned but no one was there. "Kenshin?" she asked softly, almost expecting him to walk out of one of the shadows. When no one walked out to her, she became scared. _

_She heard something knock over to her left; she turned to see, once again, nothing except a pail, which she thought was the object that fell over. She sighed and told herself she was being paranoid then turned back to gaze at the stars once again. There was another sound. This one she knew was real; she turned and saw nothing. "W-who's out there?" she asked. _

_Suddenly, someone grabbed her from behind and covered her mouth. Kaoru bit his hand and let out a scream. The kidnapper pulled out a cloth covered with sleeping gas (A/N: Did they have sleeping gas back then?. . . oh well, my story!) and covered her mouth once again. Kaoru fell silent a few moments later and fell limply into his arms, unconsciously sleeping. _

Kaoru heard a squeak of a door. She forced her eyes open and squinted, letting her eyes adjust to the darkness that surrounded her. She saw that she was being kept in a small room with no windows to be seen. There was someone walking into the room but she couldn't quite make out whom the shadow that it was belonged to. "W-who are you?" she asked then cursed herself for stuttering. 

"Ah, I see you're awake." A cheerful voice said. "You didn't answer my question. Who are you?" she repeated with more confidence in her voice. "Seta Sohjiro if you must know. . ." he said in a very unneeded cheerful voice. Kaoru knew this was no situation to be cheerful about. Kaoru frowned then sighed. "What do you want with me?" she asked although she was pretty sure she already knew the answer. "Oh, nothing, nothing from you-" Kaoru cut in, "It's Kenshin, right? You want Kenshin and I'm just the bait?" Sohjiro merely nodded.

Kaoru closed her eyes and sighed again. 'Why Kenshin? Why? I know for a fact as soon as he finds that I'm gone he'll come after me, no hesitation.' She sighed again then shook her head sorrowfully. This would have never happened if she had stayed inside. She opened her eyes again and looked up at Sohjiro. He was holding out a tray of food. She just looked at him hatefully and when she didn't take the food he set it in front of her and said, "Can't let you starve." Then he left. 

Kaoru ignored the food, pulled her knees to her chest and buried her head in them. "Kenshin," she whispered almost silently, "Please, don't do this for me. . . I don't deserve it. . . just stay there. . . where it's safe,"   

~*~

Sanosuke stirred out of his sleep and almost fell out of the bed he was placed in. His eyes snapped open and he quickly regained his balance then it dawned on him, 'Wait . . . a bed? I was at a tree last I remember.' He scanned his surrounding to look for even the tiniest hint of where he was. There was nothing. All he knew was that he was in a house that was not familiar to him and was somehow moved her by someone. He jumped out of the bed and shook away the dizziness he felt as he got up. The walked out of the room to what he suspected was the living room. Two people turned to him. One of them he recognized immediately, Kenshin. 

"Kenshin! Where the hell are we?!" he almost yelled. 

~*~

Devilspet: YAY!! That took a long time! Damn writer's block!

Kureno: Yep! But at least it's done. Please review.


	3. Feelings

Thought Unforgivable  
  
By: Devilspet  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Rurouni Kenshin or their characters . . . I only own Mokoto Hikatone.  
  
Devilspet: Hello, it's just us again!  
  
Kureno: Oh, so now we're not important?  
  
Devilspet: *nods*  
  
Kureno: WE ARE TO IMPORTANT!! WE WROTE THIS FOR THEM!!  
  
Devilspet: So? *smirks at his annoyance*  
  
Kureno: URG!! SHUT UP!! *voice softens* As always- read, enjoy (hopefully), and review.  
  
Chapter 3: Feelings?  
  
~*~  
  
Kenshin blinked. "Oh, we're at Miss Mokoto's house." He said. "Oh- wait! Whose house?" Sanosuke asked.  
  
Motoko stood up. "You're at my house. I'm Mokoto Hikatone." She said. Sanosuke blinked and scanned the young woman up and down. 'Hmm . . . shiny, long midnight blue hair, curvy figure, beautiful, round, golden hazel eyes, and an entrancing smile.' Sanosuke smiled. 'I could learn to like this place.' (A/N: Perverted, I know, but I couldn't resist. Don't blame me; I'm a Miroku fan.)  
  
Sanosuke hurried forward and shook Mokoto's hand enthusiastically. Mokoto blinked at his behavior. "Hello, I'm Sanosuke Sagara but you can call me Sano."  
  
Motoko smiled. "Thank you, but I already knew that."  
  
Sano frowned. "Really?"  
  
Motoko nodded but before she could speak Kenshin interrupted. "Yes, I told her. But, Sano, what do you think you were doing, following me?"  
  
"Stupid question." He answered.  
  
"No, it's not." Mokoto insisted.  
  
Sanosuke sighed. "Because you don't always think straight when Kaoru is involved and I was worried." He explained.  
  
"I knew exactly what I was doing, that I did. There was no need to be worried." Kenshin said.  
  
Mokoto blinked. 'Okay. Now tow people have mentioned the 'Kaoru' but who is she?' she thought, thoroughly confused. "Um, sorry to interrupt, but who is this 'Kaoru'?" she asked.  
  
Sanosuke smirked. "Kenshin's wish-to-be woman."  
  
Kenshin fell over but stood up once again, quickly. "WHAT??"  
  
Mokoto couldn't help but laugh as Sanosuke and Kenshin bickered.  
  
"You like Kaoru and you know it!"  
  
"Do not!"  
  
"Yes, you do!"  
  
"No, I don't!"  
  
"Yeah right, Kenshin! Stop denying it! Why else would you come all the way out here to save her, without telling us, if I might add, so quickly?"  
  
Kenshin shrunk back slightly. "Because that's what any man with honor would do." He answered.  
  
Sanosuke nodded sarcastically. "Yeah, you're right, Kenshin." He said softly. "But you know that's not the reason." With that he walked back to the bedroom without even a goodnight.  
  
Kenshin sighed, dropped to the floor, and covered his face with a hand. "I'm sorry, Miss Mokoto, he tends to get somewhat overdramatic."  
  
"I HEARD THAT KENSHIN!" Sanosuke called from the room.  
  
"It's okay. So, you're out here to save this Kaoru girl? From what or who?" Motoko asked, trying to change the subject.  
  
"My rival." Kenshin answered.  
  
He heard Sanosuke snort and say 'Yeah right' from the other room.  
  
Mokoto eyed Kenshin very carefully and suspiciously. "Is there something you're not telling me?"  
  
Kenshin looked up at her innocently and shook his head. "No . . ." Mokoto could see right through his act but smiled and nodded. 'Liar.' She thought.  
  
"So, do you really like her?" she asked.  
  
"No!" he answered.  
  
Mokoto laughed again.  
  
'Kenshin, you are so obvious,' she thought.  
  
~*~  
  
Devilspet: Sorry for the short chapter! Don't blame me, blame the cursed writer's block!  
  
Kureno: Your stupidity is showing again.  
  
Devilspet: My wha . . .? Oh . . . grrrrrr!  
  
Kureno: Intimidating.  
  
Devilspet: I know, I am, aren't I?  
  
Kureno: I was being sarcastic. But, what ever . . . please review everybody. 


	4. Let go

Thought Unforgivable  
  
By: Devilspet  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Rurouni Kenshin or their characters . . . I only own Mokoto Hikatone  
  
Devilspet: I'M BACK!! MWHAHAHA . . . sorry that makes me sound evil . . .  
  
Kureno: You say that like it's a bad thing.  
  
Devilspet: Oh yeah, I guess I do *smiles stupidly* Uh sorry, evil is good . . . sorry to all the pacifists out there . . .  
  
Kureno: Yeah gomen (means 'sorry' for those who don't know) people. read, enjoy (hopefully), and review please!  
  
Devilspet: You're doing it again.  
  
Kureno: What?  
  
Devilspet: You're speaking in Japanese.  
  
Kureno: Oh gomen- ARG!! I mean sorry!  
  
Devilspet: *giggles* Well, like Kureno said, read, enjoy (hopefully), and review!  
  
Chapter 4: Let go!  
  
~*~  
  
Kenshin woke up early the next morning, before everyone else, and prepared to leave. He really didn't want to argue with Sanosuke.  
  
Though Kenshin knew that as soon as Sanosuke finds out the Kenshin wasn't planning on bringing him with, he would be furious. Making sure to leave a note Kenshin readied to leave.  
  
He stepped outside the house to come face-to-face with Sanosuke. "Sano? What are you doing up so early?" he asked.  
  
"I'd be asking you the same question, Kenshin. You weren't planning on leaving, were you?" he asked.  
  
Kenshin didn't answer; he just walked around Sanosuke and began down the road. Sanosuke was bound to stop him but he didn't care; he would leave no matter what. But Sanosuke did just what he expected.  
  
Sanosuke grabbed Kenshin by the collar.  
  
"Let go." Kenshin ordered softly.  
  
"No."  
  
"You can't stop me, Sano."  
  
"You're not going there alone! You'll get yourself killed!"  
  
Kenshin turned to look at him. "Sano, I know what I'm doing now let go off me!"  
  
Kenshin's eyes had a glint of amber in them that told Sano messing with Kenshin right now was not the best idea. He let go of the kimono. Kenshin slowly turned and started in a fast pace out of town.  
  
Kenshin suddenly stopped and turned; his cheery smile had returned. "Either stay here until I return or go back to Yahiko, Sano!" he called. Sano nodded and watched Kenshin turn again and head off.  
  
~*~  
  
Yahiko had fallen asleep after over ten hours of pacing around the room, much to everyone's relief. They knew that he was uncomfortable; anyone could tell by looking at him, not only had he fallen asleep in an odd position that was sure to hurt his back but he even looked worried in his sleep.  
  
He had a good reason, though, three of the four members of the Kamiya dojo were missing and possibly in danger and he couldn't do a damned thing about it.  
  
He felt really bad about not being able to tell that Kenshin wasn't telling the truth and just over looking it. He felt worse when Sanosuke rubbed it in but of course he wouldn't show that.  
  
When Sanosuke said he'd be back soon Yahiko had assumed that meant that he would be back later that night. But when he didn't come, Yahiko had a sinking feeling in his stomach that told him something had happened.  
  
He really hated when he got that feeling. It made him feel weak because he knew something happened but he couldn't do anything about . . . except wait. He hated waiting even more! He always becomes restless quickly and then gets something like an anxious feeling that he can't push away.  
  
That really bothered him!  
  
He really hated those kinds of feelings. They annoyed the hell out of him and wouldn't let him rest for anything.  
  
Suddenly, he felt someone's eyes on him and he snapped his own eyes open. The little girl, Ayame, who was watching him yelped and backed away slightly. Yahiko rubbed his eyes. "Don't do that, will ya?" he groaned, stretching. Ayame's chocolate brown eyes blinked and she quickly nodded then scurried away.  
  
Yahiko shook his head and leaned against the wall behind him. 'I really do hope the others will come home soon. Wait! Home? Ha! That's a funny name for it- this place, Even though it is home for me.' he thought.  
  
~*~  
  
Sanosuke walked into Mokoto's house and sulked in the corner. He really hated when Kenshin go that amber glint in his eyes. It scared the living daylights out of him!  
  
Well, it wasn't like he was going to admit it, but it seemed that Kenshin already knew considering it showed up when he needed it most. Sanosuke sighed.  
  
'Looks like I'll be here for a while,' he thought to himself. He thought he was alone but what he didn't know was that Mokoto was standing in the doorway reading the note Kenshin left.  
  
She lowered the note to look at him. "You see him leave?" she asked suddenly, breaking the long silence in the room. Sanosuke jumped to his feet and looked around. When he saw it was only Mokoto, he relaxed. "Yeah." He answered.  
  
"Why didn't you stop him?"  
  
"He gave me those eyes that said don't mess with him- and trust me if I would have tried any harder it wouldn't have been pretty!"  
  
"But he seemed so nice! He wouldn't hurt someone."  
  
"He IS nice. It's just that he is very worried about Kaoru and won't let anything get in his way."  
  
"If he doesn't care for her then why does he act like that?"  
  
"That's just it! I know he does care for her! But he just won't admit it! Every time Kaoru is in danger he gets like this- not only with Kaoru but also with all his friends! Although when it comes to Kaoru he won't even let friends get in his way. . . but he'd never hurt us."  
  
"Oh."  
  
Sanosuke closed his eyes and leaned his head on the wall behind him. 'Damn it, Kenshin! If you get yourself killed, I'll never forgive you! And I know Kaoru won't either!' he said mentally. 'Just come back safe . . . with Kaoru.' A smile spread across his face when he pictured those two together.  
  
Mokoto observed Sanosuke carefully but curiously. Why was he smiling? What happened? Did she miss something here? Mokoto blinked her hazel eyes and walked out of the room to start breakfast, shaking her head.  
  
~*~  
  
Kaoru's eyes snapped open and blinked. She gazed around the room groggily. She swore she felt eyes on her but no one was in the room at all. Kaoru let her eyes adjust to the once again and not surprisingly dark room. She scanned her surroundings again but still found nothing. What was that feeling? Why did it feel so much like something or someone was watching me?  
  
Suddenly, the door flung open and Sohjiro walked in. He still had that cheery smile on his face that made Kaoru scowl. Sohjiro gave her a questioning look when he saw her make a face. Kaoru looked away, clearly disgusted and certainly not trying to hide it. Sohjiro just kept smiling and set down a tray of food, already knowing for a fact that by the way she was looking she wasn't going to take it from him.  
  
Kaoru glanced down at the food . . . she really was hungry. She looked up at Sohjiro and nodded thanks. With that, Sohjiro turned and walked out; he was definitely satisfied with the nod he had received.  
  
~*~  
  
Devilspet: YAY!! OVER!! Whew!! That took a long time!!  
  
Kureno: I'll say!  
  
Devilspet: Okay, then say it.  
  
Kureno: *sighs and shakes head* Are you really that dense or do you just act that way?  
  
Devilspet: WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN??  
  
Kureno: I don't know . . .  
  
Devilspet: Fine! Be like that, then!  
  
Kureno: Okay, I will!  
  
Devilspet: Well, that's all for now . . .  
  
Kureno: Ja ne!  
  
Devilspet: Kureno . . . fix your language.  
  
Kureno: Huh? Oh. I meant see ya later!  
  
Devilspet: Please review! 


	5. Arrival

Thought Unforgivable

By: Nikumu Chan

Disclaimer: I do not own Rurouni Kenshin or their characters . . . I only own Mokoto Hikatone

Nikumu: Konnoichi wa minna! I'm really, really sorry for the wait of this chapter but I started yet another story and I was trying to get a few chapters out of that . . .

Kureno: Five to be exact

Nikumu: Shut up, no one asked you!

Kureno *shrugs* whatever . . .

Nikumu: Fine! Be like that! Read, enjoy, and review onegai! Oh, hey minna, I changed my pen name . . . it's no longer Devilspet it is now Nikumu Chan or translated to Hate Chan ^^ 

Chapter 5: Arrival  

~*~

Kaoru ate her food silently. There was no one around to talk to, so why talk? Even though there was no much food it didn't really matter to her . . . every time they had brought in food before she ignored it, so she was very hungry.

She heard the door creak open again and looked up. Sohjiro stepped in. "Are you done?" he asked. Kaoru moved away from the food and nodded. She didn't want him anywhere near her. "You know you CAN talk to me? I won't kill you if you do." Sohjiro said. 

"Who said I was afraid you would? Maybe I just don't feel like talking to scum." Kaoru said coolly.

"Good . . . you talked. I was thinking you had lost your voice or something, but you really should watch what you say around certain people . . . Lord Shishio would have killed you for that." Sohjiro warned.

Kaoru narrowed her eyes as he turned to leave. 'Like I'm afraid of him! Hah, if he thinks so . . . he's got another thing coming!' she thought but she had a sinking feeling like something bad was going to happen to her or someone close to her.

~*~

The sun shown bright in the sky as Kenshin walked. His stomach growled but be ignored it for the time being. He had remembered to cook up some food and bring it this time so he didn't have to stop.  There was no time to stop; Kaoru had already been gone for a day and a half and he didn't want to leave her alone so long- especially with Shishio.

(Argh!! I'm getting tired of the walking scene!! ^^;; Okay, gomen.)

~*~

Yahiko swung the shinai with immense strength at his target, a wooden dummy. He promised himself he would improve to impress Kaoru, Kenshin, and Sanosuke when they came back. The thought of Kenshin being proud of him made him grin slightly. He took another swing and heard a crack. 'What the hell . . . ?' he glanced at his weapon. "Aw, no!" he whined. There was a crack down the middle of his shinai. "Damn it!"

"Yahiko!" Megumi, who was observing his practice as she did laundry, scolded. Megumi and the others had offered to stay and help around the dojo until the other turned up.

"What?!" Yahiko called innocently.

Megumi sighed and shook her head; there was no use arguing.

Suzume and Ayame ran in circles around Dr. Genzai for entertainment, laughing wildly; they didn't even hear Yahiko's outburst.

Yahiko threw down his shinai and sat on the ground sulkily. Life was no fair to him. He was left here at the dojo with only the company of squealing little girls that gave him a head ache, an old man, and an over flirtatious doctor. What fun!? Not! There was no Kaoru to bicker with; he had to admit that it was really fun. And without Kaoru he couldn't get much training in. There was no Kenshin to pick up tips on sword fighting from; he wasn't there to add comic relief when he was worried or tense. There was no Sanosuke to . . . to . . . to, well, be Sano! Life was boring without them and there was no where around it. 'Ah! This isn't fair!! How could they leave me here like this!?!' Yahiko fell backwards into the dirt, not caring for the dust that dirtied his hair and clothes. He just sulked on the ground, laying on his back and staring into the bright, afternoon sky.

~*~

A day later at 7 PM . . .

Kenshin increased his step as he entered Kyoto, where Shishio was supposedly keeping Kaoru. 'I'm coming Miss Kaoru; I'm coming soon!' He peered at his surroundings. The streets were almost eerily empty, not even a stray animal was present. Odd, he found it simply odd. Surely, there should be some one out; it was only dusk.

As he walked father into town, he was greeted by none other than Sohjiro, Shishio's loyal servant. "Himura, took you long enough to get here. Lord Shishio was beginning to doubt your presence." He said.

Ignoring Sohjiro's comment, he demanded, "Where is Miss Kaoru? What have you done with her? If you hurt her in any way I swear . . ." 

"Swear what, Himura? That you'll kill me? You wouldn't do that, now would you?" he asked mockingly. 

Kenshin's violet eyes flamed a dangerous amber shade. He narrowed his eyes but didn't respond to the taunt. Sohjiro laughed and beckoned for Kenshin to follow. Kenshin complied though still fuming. If it meant getting to Kaoru, he would try to control his temper. He closed his eyes briefly to relax and sighed. Upon opening them, his brilliant purple tinted eyes shown clearly in the darkness.

~*~

Kaoru's door flung open and a man strolled in. He bent down over the peacefully sleeping Kaoru and jerked her awake. "What the heck . . . ?" she murmured sleepily. Her eyes widened when she saw someone standing over her. "W-what do y-you want?" she asked timidly, completely awake. 

The man roughly pulled Kaoru to her feet and pushed her out the door, he followed closely behind. Kaoru stumbled over her worn kimono. She hadn't been able to change since the captured her for they had given her no new clothes. She felt disgusting and grimy! But, of course, they had provided no bath. 

She was shoved into a room and the door quickly closed behind her before she could protest. Kaoru slowly turned to observe the occupants that companied her. Immediately, upon seeing them, she scowled; she was left with Shishio and that girl. . . Yumi, maybe? She couldn't remember her name very well. She had only heard about her once from Kenshin. She knew there was no use looking scared or intimidated because she really wasn't; she was confident that Kenshin would come. If he didn't, she knew how to take care of herself but- she felt around for her weapon. She quickly glanced down and cursed. Her bokutou was gone. 'Ah, no! Grr . . . damn them! They stole it; I know they did!' She glared at nothing in particular. That made her so angry she couldn't describe it. Though she felt like tearing Shishio apart she hid her fury. 

"What do you want with Kenshin?" she asked quietly.

Shishio laughed cruelly. "I never really thought you were THAT stupid girl! I want his LIFE!" 

Kaoru trembled in rage. "I have a name; use it." She said coldly.

"You can't tell me what to do, GIRL. I could kill you right here and now. If I were you, I would watch my tongue."

"You do that."

Shishio stepped forward and held a knife to Kaoru's throat. "Talk to me like that again; I dare you." He warned icily. 

Kaoru gulped and bit her lip.

At that moment, the door shattered to pieces. Kenshin stepped in, once-purple-now-amber eyes glowing menacingly. "Shishio. Let her go, now." he ordered.

"And if I don't?"

Kenshin opened his mouth to respond then closed it when he remembered he no longer had his Sakabatou. "At least take the knife away from her throat." He said quietly.

"Of course." He moved the knife away from her throat and put it to her heart, grinning threateningly. 

Kenshin's eyes immediately widened. "No! Let her go!" Kenshin ordered again. "Please, just don't hurt Kaoru." He added quietly. 

Kaoru's eyes stung when Kenshin used her real name- no Miss at the beginning; she really didn't like it when he did that. "Kenshin," she bit her lip, "Don't; just go. Please, I'll be alright, really," Kaoru whispered almost inaudibly with a small, almost forced, smile.

"Aw, that's sweet." Shishio commented mockingly, making Kenshin growl. Shishio looked to Yumi and nodded. The woman nodded back and provided a sword for Kenshin.

Kenshin gave the sword a disgusted look; he could tell just by the feel of the sword between his fingers that it wasn't his. "And what am I to do with this?" Kenshin asked though he already knew. 

"Why, fight, of course."

"Get Kaoru out of here and I'll consider it."

"Oh, trust me, you have no choice."

Kenshin's amber-glinted eyes blazed hazardously.

~*~

Nikumu: Well, that's it for now . . . sorry I stopped there but it's late and I have other stories to update before I go to sleep. Sorry.

Kureno: Well, until next time; please review!!

Nikumu: Hey, Kureno's actually being helpful! ^^

Kureno: *glares*

PLEASE REVIEW!!


	6. Horror

Thought Unforgivable  
  
By: Nikumu Chan  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Rurouni Kenshin or their characters . . . I only own Mokoto Hikatone, who is not going to make another appearance.  
  
A/n: I'M SOOO SORRY FOR THE LONG WAIT!!!! . . . school . . . other stories . . . writer's block . . . pushy parents . . . and a life . . . Blame it on them . . . I know, weak excuses, but it's all I can come up with to make up for my LONG absence . . . SORRY!!! Really . . . I'll try and make this chapter long to make up for it . . . Forgiveness please??  
  
Chapter 6: Horror  
  
~*~  
  
Kaoru watched intently as Kenshin's eyes flashed. A chill ran down her spine. Those eyes . . . she didn't like them. She didn't like them one bit, but that was Kenshin . . . She feared for him though she knew his immense power as a swordsman. She knew that if he fought with THAT sword, danger would come and SOMEONE would be hurt, whether Kenshin or Shishio.  
  
Kaoru watched in bemusement as Kenshin made some more demands. She saw his mouth move and could feel the power in is voice but she heard none, nothing at all. She felt Shishio chuckle, for she was held against his chest.  
  
Kaoru gasped as she hit the floor. Her head clashed with the hard wood and she swore she was stars. Shishio'd thrown her to the side. 'How pleasant,' she thought wryly, watching the colored dots dance in her vision. Was it just her or was the room spinning?? Shaking it off as best she could, she shakily lifted her head from the floor and looked at Kenshin, ignoring the deafening pulse of throbs and offering a wobbly, but reassuring, smile.  
  
She saw Kenshin take a step forward but stopped. "Don't go near her!" she heard Shishio protest. Kenshin looked as if he were going to say something when Shishio held the dagger at eye level. "I have very good aim," he commented breezily, cutting Kenshin off. Kenshin relented and backed away several steps, eyes downcast and hooded.  
  
Kaoru's breath caught in her throat when she saw Shishio lunge suddenly; she opened her mouth to call out but she had no words. She became lost in the flurry of movement. Suddenly hearing a ping, as weapons met, her head jerked in the direction, causing ache to flash before her eyes. She winced. Blackness fought at the edge of her vision but she obstinately pushed it away. She had to make sure Kenshin would be okay.  
  
Supporting her arms under her as the battle raged, she tried to push herself up. She nearly cried out as pain coursed through her. Kaoru gasped as a hand gripped her shoulder, pushing her back down. She looked up and saw Yumi crouched beside her.  
  
"Best stay still, unless you want to hurt yourself more. Besides, you do NOT want to get in between them when they're fighting," Yumi warned.  
  
Kaoru glared. "I've done it before." she protested though it was a complete lie. Trying to get up again, she shoved away Yumi's restraining hand. "Get offa me!" she hissed.  
  
Yumi gasped as the disrespect and pulled her hand away.  
  
Wincing against the pain, she sat up and tried to yell out for Kenshin. "K- " she decided against it when dangerous amber eyes flashed her way. Kaoru slowly backed against the wall, careful not to knock her head. Blackness still swam in her vision but she struggled to stay conscious.  
  
Her eyes flickered left and right at each movement, trying to keep up with her sluggish senses. She glanced over at that Yumi and scowled at the girl, who clasped her hands in rapture and watched adoringly. Swords clashed again and Kaoru's head snapped that way, ignoring the temporary odd colors that took over her vision.  
  
She couldn't keep up anymore. Her eyesight swam and everything seemed blurry. Swords collided loudly but she didn't bother looking. She heard a sharp intake of breath and Looked to Yumi then forced her head to look at Kenshin and Shishio. Kenshin's blade had met burnt flesh, Shishio's stomach, more exactly. Her eyes widened. Oh no! She took in Kenshin's terror. She knew he was afraid from there.  
  
The weapon dropped from Kenshin's grasp, as did Shishio. The ex-swordsman stood there, staring in utter horror and disbelief as the bandaged man struggled to breath.  
  
Kaoru saw Yumi immediately run over to her Lord. The world spun around her and she felt, suddenly, extremely dizzy and unstable. She struggled to her feet and staggered towards Kenshin. Blackness took over and she fainted in mid-step. "Kenshin," she breathed in awe before falling unconscious.  
  
Kenshin felt his feet give out underneath him as Yumi nursed her dying Lord, cursing him brutally. "I'm sorry," he whispered truthfully. "It was an accident. I didn't mean it; it was completely unintentionally . . . I didn't-I'm sorry,"  
  
Kenshin turned his gaze from the two and fixed it on the bloodied sword. No . . . He hadn't. He hadn't used that, had he? Kenshin didn't need an answer for that. Tearing his stare from the crimson weapon, he let it fall on Kaoru. He continued staring helplessly. He'd failed her. Getting a closer look, he realized she'd passed out. The better for him, he supposed. Now, Kenshin reflected, he didn't have to face her . . .  
  
Frowning sadly, Kenshin carefully scooped her up, into his arms, bridal- style. Sending on last apologetic glance at the sobbing Yumi, Kenshin fled the room and left into the late night. Luckily, Kaoru wasn't heavy or he'd have a slight problem . . .  
  
Kenshin didn't want to stop.  
  
~*~  
  
Sanosuke made it back to the Kamiya dojo early that next morning. Megumi dropped her broom at the site of him, utterly shocked. She hadn't expected them to come back in one piece! Not that she doubted their skills or anything but . . . She nearly squealed in happiness, laughing her head off. She resisted hugging him, though. It seemed to UN-like her, though she would have if it was in her character. So, she settled for hopping around happily, which was, most likely, more out of character than hugging him.  
  
Yahiko, hearing the commotion, hurried over. "Kenshin?! . . . Aww, it's only YOU," He teased. "I guess I'll go back to work," he said, turning away.  
  
Megumi gasped at his rudeness and was ready to scold loudly but she stopped when she saw the boy's shoulders shake with, what she suspected, laughter. She frowned. "Yahiko!" she admonished anyway, "That was NOT funny! Turn around and say hello," she ordered.  
  
Yahiko quickly shook his head, turned away to wipe away tears.  
  
Megumi pursed her lips and stalked forward, grabbing the boy's shoulder. She spun him around and looked him in the face. Her anger melted when she saw his wet eyes.  
  
Yahiko turned his head to avoid her gaze. "What ya lookin' at?" he muttered unpleasantly, scrubbing his eyes.  
  
Megumi smiled softly and simply walked back to her sweeping.  
  
Sanosuke grinned at the boy. "Yahiko!"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"I never saw it . . ."  
  
A grin twitched at the boy's lips. "Thanks, Sano,"  
  
~*~  
  
Well, this IS a pitiful chapter but it's about 1,500 words so . . . Yeah . . . That's quite a bit for me actually . . . Please review!!  
  
Remember me . . .  
  
--Nikumu 


	7. Awake

Thought Unforgivable

By: Nikumu Chan

Disclaimer: I do not own Rurouni Kenshin or their characters…

A/n: I'm back!! Thankies for the reviews!! Makes me feel special…

Chapter 7: Awake

~*~

Kaoru awoke the next day in her own bed. She yawned and stretched, feeling so much better than she had for the last week. Well, she did, until the memories flooded her. She lost her color, jumping from the futon. She needed to find Kenshin and make sure he was alright!

Sprinting out of the room, Kaoru didn't bother changing from her overly grimy clothes, though she noted with relief that Kenshin hadn't tried to change her. She would have been catastrophic and oh, so embarrassing. She blushed deeply at the thought.

She slid to a stop at Kenshin's door, socks nearly letting her pass it completely. "Kenshin!" She exclaimed urgently. 

Kenshin sat hunched in a corner on his futon. He'd killed a man… Enemy, he was… but he'd still killed him… That was the only thing that'd run through his mind all the way home. That, and, was Kaoru going to be alright? Broken from his thoughts as Kaoru called his name, he looked up grimly, waiting to be severely scolded when she remember what he'd done.

Kaoru sucked in a deep breath as got a look at Kenshin. He looked like he hadn't slept a wink, weary from travel. Miserable, violet eyes gazed back at her worried sapphires. She felt her lip tremble. "Kenshin," she murmured, stepping forward. "Kenshin…"

Kenshin looked away, wincing slightly as he waited for her shouting and yelling. He waited for her to demand him out of her home. It was her only option, right? That's why she was ready to cry… because she was disappointed, right? And, why she looked so reluctant to speak… she didn't want to speak to low scum like him… correct? He swallowed hard and looked, again, at Kaoru; this time, his gaze was brave and with-standing of any reprimand coming his way...

Kaoru dropped to her knees at his bedside, eyes closed and head bowed respectably. "Kenshin… Thank you so much, Kenshin…" she mumbled, gulping back tears. "I don't know how I would have gotten out of there, if you hadn't come… Thank you… so much. I'm eternally grateful but…" she paused dramatically. "But, I don't suppose I can make up for your losses or my mistakes. I doubt you find it smart that I was out so late, without a weapon and my guard down. And… I don't think you'll forgive me for endangering your life… as well as mine with my back talk… And… And your sword; It's lost… You never got it back, did you? Kenshin…" Without thinking, she jumped into his arms, breaking down with tears. "I'm sorry, Kenshin! I'm so sorry!"

Kenshin was shocked to silence by, not only her actions, but also her words. She didn't blame him! But… but, he'd killed! Didn't she have a problem with it? Any at all? He blinked and slowly wrapped his arms around the sobbing girl, holding her tightly. His gaze focused blankly on the floor behind her.

Kaoru's tears soon dried but she didn't plan on pulling away. She was waiting for Kenshin to say something. Anything! Even a "No, I don't forgive you," would work for her at the moment. Sniffling again when nothing came, she pulled herself from his embrace, head low, and turned to walk out of his room. As she reached the doorway, she heard a soft murmur from Kenshin. 

"How can you forgive me?" he'd asked.

Kaoru blinked and halted. Forgive him? What had he done? He'd only protected and saved her. "Why wouldn't I?" she asked back, not looking his way for fear of more tears.

Kenshin didn't answer; he ducked his head low. 

Kaoru closed her eyes, trying to unveil all the events of the night before. She was missing something, she knew it. What was it, though? Kenshin'd barged in and he'd told Shishio to put down the dagger that was held against her. Shishio didn't do it. Blah, blah, blah; there was an argument. Kenshin finally agreed to fight for Kaoru, against her protests. Shishio threw her against the wall and everything went fuzzy. What had happened??

She remembered fast movement and loud noises. That was the two fighting, she knew. That wouldn't have given him this effect, surely. What was it?! She thought back.

_She couldn't keep up anymore. Her eyesight swam and everything seemed blurry. Swords collided loudly but she didn't bother looking. She heard, minutes later, a sharp intake of breath and looked to Yumi then forced her head to look at Kenshin and Shishio. Kenshin's blade had met burnt flesh, Shishio's stomach, more exactly. Her eyes widened. Oh no! She took in Kenshin's terror. She knew he was afraid from there. _

_The weapon dropped from Kenshin's grasp, as did Shishio. The ex-swordsman stood there, staring in utter horror and disbelief as the bandaged man struggled to breath. _

_Kaoru saw Yumi immediately run over to her Lord. The world spun around her and she felt, suddenly, extremely dizzy and unstable. She struggled to her feet and staggered towards Kenshin. Blackness took over and she fainted in mid-step. "Kenshin," she breathed in awe before falling unconscious._

Kaoru gasped. "Oh, Kenshin…" she breathed. She turned back towards Kenshin, stepped forward, and kneeled at his side again. "Kenshin…" she started, waiting for his gaze to fall upon her. When he didn't look her way, she crawled up onto his futon and guided his head her way with a single finger. 

Kenshin was still unresponsive.

"Kenshin…" she sang softly, hoping to get his notice. "Hello?? You there? Kenshin! Look at me, dangit!" Maybe he'd pay attention now…

Slowly, Kenshin turned his gaze on her, eyes still clouded guiltily, causing Kaoru to loose her hopeful grin. "Kenshin. Don't worry."

Kenshin forced a smile, not caring, really, how fallacious it seemed. "What's there to worry about? I didn't say I was worrying, that I didn't." he responded, loosing his grin instantly. Well, it worked for a while…

Kaoru scoffed. "That's not what I meant, and you know it! I meant that you shouldn't worry because I don't…" she paused, lowering her voice. "I don't… think badly of you, Kenshin. You saved me; I'm nearly proud of that! …Of course, I would be _more_ triumphant If _I_ had saved myself…" she murmured jokingly, beaming at Kenshin.

"So, you don't… you don't care?" Kenshin asked, bemused.

"Of course, I care—" Kaoru retorted loudly but paused, gasping at her volume; she quieted her voice again. "Of _course, I care!' she hissed, irritated somewhat, "But, I'm __not going to hate you for it…" Kaoru promised, "I won't…"_

Kenshin stared up at her, his unblinking gaze focused on her face; he looked almost lost. Kaoru, soon becoming uncomfortable under his discomforting stare, hopped from one foot to the other. She coughed lightly. "Uh, well, I—I should go… uh… help make breakfast. Yeah! That's it! I have to help with breakfast! See ya, Kenshin!" 

Kaoru stumbled from his bedside, tripping over her own feet. She dashed from the room and slid the door closed behind her, soundlessly. Sinking low on the wall beside the door, she rocked herself back and forth unnervingly. He'd—he'd done it for her… She realized now. Kaoru closed her eyes and, biting her lip, felt tears form behind her eyes. She couldn't believe it! It was bad… but she felt so happy! Was it wrong to feel that way? She suddenly wondered, eyes snapping open. 

Pushing those thoughts to the back of her mind, she stood. Whew! She had made it out of there without another round of tears…! Except for the first, of course… She just felt maudlin, that was all…  

Well, since she'd told Kenshin that she planned to go help prepare the first meal, she might as well go. She headed off towards the kitchen but stopped short. What was that _horrid_ smell?! She sniffed the air. It was… _her_… Ew! Maybe, she'd bathe and change first, for every one's advantage. And to think she'd hugged Kenshin while smelling so dire! She sighed and hurried off to her room. 

~*~

Kaoru strode from the bathhouse, feeling and smelling extremely better. She went to the kitchen to find Sanosuke and Yahiko struggling with a heated pot as Megumi watched, laughing her head off, at the humorous sight. Kaoru, herself, bit her lip to stop the laughter that threatened to spill from her lips. She hurried towards them, swatting them away and ignoring their astonished looks; she fixed their awful mistake for them.

Okay, so she didn't know much of cooking, but she knew more than what the others (Sanosuke and Yahiko) gave her credit of. She laughed as they stared at her with dumbfounded stares, even Megumi. She'd have a lot of explaining to do, it seemed…

Suddenly, she was bombarded with questions as they broke from their stupor and Kaoru sweat-dropped. They certainly _were curious…_

~*~

The better part of the day had passed and Kenshin hadn't been seen. He hadn't even eaten! Then again, knowing Kenshin and how he's acted earlier, he was probably too sick with himself to eat. Kaoru sighed as she set out the dishes for supper. All the hurt and sadness that seemed to spread from Kenshin was getting heavier by the moment, she felt. Or, maybe it was just her… She was just plain depressed. 

The others gathered around for dinner, chatting spiritedly, as Kaoru passed around the food. She really wished Kenshin was with them and was the only one not talking.

As everything quieted down, they began eating enthusiastically. 

The door suddenly slid open and revealed a red-headed rurouni. He wore a cheery smile as every one looked to him. Kaoru beamed, immediately standing and ushering Kenshin to a vacant seat at the table. She set the food in front of him with a humongous grin; all the depression she felt seemed to melt away with Kenshin there, smiling at every one. "Glad to have ya here, Kenshin…" she murmured as she placed the dishes, filled to the brim with food, before him.

Every one, hearing Kaoru's words, joined, cheering with her.

Kenshin replied with a simple, "Thank you," but, to be honest, he was probably the happiest to be with everyone. He was reassured noiselessly that, no matter what he did, he'd still be accepted by them. That was all he needed…

To think he wouldn't forgive himself for his unforgivable, when they did…

~*~

Done, _finally_!!!! I hope you like it, really… Review plz!!

**Remember me, **

**_Nikumu_**


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